jealousy

if i were blair waldorf, i would die of jealousy at the sight of chuck and vanessa at this party. well, either that or i would send an anonymous blast to gossip girl herself.

well, i've been experiencing a lot of this blair-ness lately. not that i would get my revenge by spreading nasty rumors or anything.. just that something's got me a little on edge. haha.

i never thought i'd find a reason to appreciate jealousy. i knew there had to be some kind of justification for it, i just couldn't think of it until now. 

as a person prone to large amounts of jealousy, i'm always finding myself wanting what (or who) someone else has. in fact, i cannot think of a time when i am NOT feeling just a bit envious. 

up until now, i've seen this as a horrible curse. but then i thought about why i even get jealous in the first place. that's when it hit me: i'm only jealous because i like certain things and people. 

think about it: why would you be jealous of something/someone you hate? it only makes sense. we are jealous of what we cannot have. and we want these things because we like them. (or THINK we like them. but that is a whole different subject in itself.)

however, it is also possible to hate something you're jealous of. kind of confusing, huh? i mean.. you're jealous because you love, but you hate because you can't have it. 

with all of this said, jealousy is something we should appreciate. it exists because of adoration. it continues because of love. although it is a negative thing, jealousy depicts something very positive in the world.