if it kills me

sorry in advance for the bad photo quality. i couldn't find a screen shot on such short notice, so i took a picture of the tv. oh, and the size of the font. my computer is making it all jumbo.  -___- 

"... and baby, that's a case of my wishful thinking."

 i try not to post about the same subject twice, but i guess i really can't choose what i'm inspired by. well i can, but i think we're all drawn to certain things for certain reasons. 

 and with this said, i will transition into my topics: fate and dance. fate because that is what i believe i experienced today, and dance because that is what fate led me to. and vice versa, if that makes sense. (which i HOPE it will by the end of this blog post.)

 as i was getting ready to watch "so you think you can dance," i read some twitter updates to pass the time. while reading, i discovered that one of my all-time favorite dancers, travis wall, choreographed a piece for the show tonight. upon learning this, my anticipation kept building. when it was finally time for the number, i wasn't quite sure what to expect. great choreography is often ruined by dancers' lack of emotion, and i was quite fearful of this. 

 the title of the song being fading in at the left corner of the screen immediately caught my eye: "if it kills me" by jason mraz. not being the hugest jason mraz fan out there, i was curious to see if this song was as light-hearted as "i'm yours" or "lucky." of course it wasn't. i heard the opening lines, "if i should be so bold/to ask you to hold my heart in your hand," and was immediately dazzled by the intensity and passion packed into just those few words. it was an acoustic version of the track, one that sounded more intimate and added to the dance rather than distract from it. the blend of the choreography, the story line and the song was simply harmonious. now, because i want everyone to be able to form his or her own un-biased opinions about this dance, i will refrain from saying too much about it. i can say, however, that it made me fall in love with dance and all that it stands for: passion, creativity, grace, emotion, etc... 

 as a person easily influenced by both movement and music, i was, of course, inclined to look up the rest of the song lyrics online. unsurprisingly, the lyrics were just as strong and as beautiful as the dance. however, i found something that did in fact surprise me... and that was my blog title. right there. in the seventh line of the song. (it is also what i started this blog post with.) this may have been purely coincidental, but i'd like to believe that it was fate. what are the chances that i would witness so much beauty and inspiration within a span of three minutes on sytycd? maybe it's more likely than i think, but i have that little spark of hope inside me that says it was a sign. a sign from somewhere, someone, or just something. i want to believe that it wants me to dance. it wants me to express myself in a way that i cannot do as of now. it wants me to push myself to somewhere i've never been before. but of course, i know that this "it" is also partially fabricated in my own mind. but there's always hope, right? well, whether it's a supernatural force or my own desire pulling me in different directions, i know what i'm always going to be attracted to. call it "wishful thinking," but i just want to dance & "i will find a way to you even if it kills me." okay, maybe not KILL... more like injure. 

p.s. go listen to the song! it's quite splendid. or even better... watch the whole routine! (: