my anti-muse

after taking a much-needed (but too  short) vacation from nate this spring break, i have realized one thing: i don't think about other things besides him. this is quite a sad fact, for i've always thought that my mind was just overflowing with thoughts 24/7. this was entirely disappointing to me. how can i truly be a thinker if my mind is filled with such meaningless stuff? ugh, how lame is THAT? 

i was sitting down a few days ago just staring off into space when i found myself literally thinking about the fact that i'm thinking about nothing. maybe this sounds a bit confusing, but it makes sense in my head. haha.  i'm just so freaking mad at my mind. how could it have let everything get so... uninspired by everything except for one person? i don't think this person even inspires me at all, anyway. he is just absorbing all of my abilities and wasting them on stupid stuff. thus, i have named nate the anti-muse. i should create a villain out of this anti-muse fellow. oh dangit, now he's actually a muse. or is it because i'm still on break from him and i'm just becoming inspired by my own imagination? i don't know.. but i'll take it.(: wow, this blog is just a whole bunch of rambling and my thinking process. oh well..

about the beauty from the past few days... i was hoping to find something completely inspirational and tell-the-whole-world-worthy. but unfortunately, i came up with very little. i think the featured artwork of today sums it up quite nicely, though. it's about having your head in the clouds. although it says "i love you," we can just pretend that's not even there. what i get from it is the sense of freedom and liberation from the normal way of thinking. how about you?

transportation

i had skating practice yesterday. it didn't go that terribly.. i took some falls, but only two of them really hurt. lol. what's even better is that there wasn't synchro practice this morning! i finally got to sleep in on a sunday(: 

after skating i went to the alhambra retirement home for community service. whenever we go there, it seems like we're totally unwanted. i honestly don't mind, though, because it's not my favorite place to be. i know it's good to help out and stuff, but it's really depressing there. i don't think the people working there care about others, or it doesn't seem like it, anyway. they kind of ignore the residents and worry about what's easiest for them. i hope we don't have to go back anytime soon. 

next, rhiann and i wanted to make the most of our spring break... so we walked from fremont ave. to main st. in alhambra! i mapquested it today and it was 3.33 miles. and this is what brings me to the beauty of today.. erm... yesterday. TRANSPORTATION! we figured that we would just catch the bus or something, but little did we know that the buses only ran from monday-friday. so of course, we were left to walk there on our own. as i watched the cars zoom past our snail's pace, i couldn't help but think about what life must have been like without cars and stuff. haha. i think we all take it for granted that we have so much that facilitates our lives today. yet, people still find reasons to complain. :/ so yes, transportation. lol. 

ohh, and at main st. we ended up not doing much because... there isn't much to do anymore! haha. i got bobaaa and we shared fries.. and we took pictures. (: but that's about it. 

movie moments

i finally finished my homework assignments today! (well, i still have math problems to do and a section of the decades paper, but it's nothing.) i was just worried about the apush essay, decades paper, and civil disobedience stuff, but i'm done now! yay! time to relax/party/act dumb! (:

as a sort of reward for myself, i saw the hannah montana movie! i must say, it was really good. there were some seriously touching moments in it. the movie was very cute in general and i got a bit teary during some parts. LOL. ahhhh, so adorable. i'll have to go see it again! maybe tomorrow? i don't know. 

this brings me to the beauty of the day. i think it has to go to... romantic movie moments! sure, they might be cheesy, but you know you love 'em! for instance.. in the hannah montana movie, when lucas till's character asks "hannah" if miley would go out with him, i (and the rest of the theater-goers) couldn't help but say "awww!" what was even cuter was when he was looking at himself in the window reflection, holding a bouquet of flowers, and trying to make sure he looked his best for his date with miley. TOO FREAKING CUTE! maybe these things don't happen often in every day life, but it still makes for great dreams. (: i may get the real world mixed up with my fantasy world sometimes, but i think it's totally worth it. 

blame it on the...

todaaaaay was.. okay. i went to the mall with the family in the morning to have breakfast and go shopping. we checked out the new forever21. it was pretty cool, i guess. a bit huge for my liking, though. haha. i got some cool stuff(: uhh. two shirts, a skirt, scarf, and a BLAIR WALDORF headband to be exact. hehee. 

next we went to monterey park city hall to sign up to volunteer this summer. i was totally bummed that day care isn't going to be at elder at all. ): barnes is a total hell on earth, forreal. uggh. that means that i'm going to have to find somewhere to intern or volunteer at instead. greaaaat.. 

after that we went to the doctor's office to get the last of our freakin gardasil shots. the trainee nurse totally effed up on me. i felt the jab of the needle, then i felt something trickling down my arm. at first i thought it was the vaccine, but then i realized it was my own fricken blood. ewwwww, it made me feel so sick. i had to get out of there. lol. 

one good thing came out of that last trip, though.. and that is in the form of beauty. (: as i stared out the window of that office on the 7th floor, i noticed the sky. and with perfect timing, the channel 7 weatherman began talking about the weather for the next few days. i think this whole bipolar weather sitch is pretty cool. like, it doesn't give us enough time to completely hate or love the weather. it just gives us time to embrace it. yeahh. bipolar weather=<3>

bruises

todaytodaytoday.. let's see. i didn't really do much of anything.. besides homework. ): i really hate that just because we're off for a week, teachers think they can give us a month's work of work. it really sucks. haha. we don't even have any time to relax because we're so weighed down by it! i haven't had time to have any fun at all because i've been trying to finish all of these fricken assignments. pssh. so much for having an eventful spring break. -___- how lame, right?

besides homework, i worked a little miniscule bit on my pc. didn't get very far, though. i think i need more inspiration. ): yeah. it was kind of disappointing. hmm.. so there's not much more to say. oh wait, my sister is coming home tonight from washington/new york/gettysburg. haha. i didn't really notice she was gone, anyway. ehh, i guess i might have SOME fun now. i'm not really counting on it, though. LOL. 

onto today's beauty... i was just noticing this major bruise on my leg today. i think i've always been fond of bruises, but i could never exactly say why. today as i was staring at my leg, it kind of hit me. i was always proud to have bruises because they showed off what i had done to get such a marking. i'm weird, right? haha. i think that bruises are a silent way of telling everyone "i've done something i think is cool/dangerous/stupid and now i have proof!" they are great conversation starters and there's a memory that goes with each one. though they don't really fit the conventional definition of the word, i think they are in fact beautiful. (: and yes, the bruise in the picture is the one that inspired my little epiphany. 

musical progress

sooooo. i think i really made some progress on my piano composition today. you know what? that takes a long fricken time to type. hahaa. it's just going to be called "pc" from now on. LOL. 

i know that this recording had muchoooo mistakes in it, but i couldn't keep trying to make it perfect since my mom got home. not that i'm not allowed to play, just that i don't really like others to hear me making mistakes. 

today's beauty... definitely goes to MUSIC. i did not watch tv or do anything else because i was so enthralled by music. i sat down and just listened to ryan conferido's music for about an hour.. soaking everything in. too amazing for words, i must say. i think people take music for granted. i know i do sometimes. i don't realize what the world would be like without it. it's just always there. so yeahhh. music is beeeautiful. hahaa. 

sunshine

today was pretty okay, i guess. it wasn't very eventful, but not every day can be. haha. hmmm. it was the first day of spring break, so i got to sleep in. (:

i tried to work on my piano composition, but i couldn't really concentrate. i was too worried that my solitude in the house wouldn't last for so long. at least i started, though. i also tried to work on my handstand/freeze abilities.. which wasn't a total disaster, either. hahaa. my knees took some bad hits, but it's all good. i had no idea that doing a simple handstand used so many muscles. when i woke up today everything was sore. it feels like i'm getting stronger... and losing my fear of falling, which is the most important part. lol. the bruises and stuff aren't even that bad when i think about how cool it will be when i finally get it right. 

today's beauty.. i had quite a hard time finding it, mainly because i did not really interact with others that i don't usually talk to. however, i think i finally saw it when i was walking outside. i realized what a nice day it was. the sun was out and shining, and it seemed like quite a few people were enjoying it. we really haven't seen this much sunshine here in a long time. i honestly am not too fond of it, but i do like to see how others react to it. it seemed like everyone was just a bit happier and friendlier. 

universal beauty

it's 11:11 now. wishful thinking to the max. (:

i didn't come back on here just to say that. haha. i think i found my goal for spring break this year. and no, it's not to finish homework in record-breaking time. i'm going to attempt to compose a multi-part song. i'm not really sure if it will have lyrics or not. it all depends on what goes down during the next week. everything is kind of up in the air for this project, but i know one thing: it will be about beauty. 

it has recently occurred to me that beauty is not seen as it should be today. i think that most people see it as just a physical type of thing, but it's not. there is always beauty to be discovered. it may not be blatantly obvious, but it is still there, nevertheless. people need to be more open to beauty that cannot be seen right away, or even seen at all. this may consist of music, personality (cheesy as it may sound), or even compassion showed towards one another. 

back to my little project... this song will have different parts, like i said. each portion will (hopefully) convey a different aspect of beauty. i'm not trying to diss parts of it. i just want to show others how everything is beautiful. and if i'm successful, people may also see that all of these aspects are related in some ways.

this will probably take more than a week. while i'm looking for inspiration, i will document a different moment of beauty that i encounter each day. 

yesterday's moment (april 4): seeing everyone at the world of dance convention. it was absolutely amazing seeing thousands of people all supporting a single form of art. people of all ages were brought together through dance. it was very obvious that something special was occurring when we stepped into the room with the stage. it was packed all day, from 3 pm to past midnight, with people enjoying dance crew performances. the love everyone had for the medium of expression was breathtaking. it was truly beautiful.

benefits of wishful thinking

this is the first time i've had a blog. i was never really into it before, but i've been inspired these past few days and wanted to get some thoughts out in the open. 

with that said, i think i'll talk about one dreamlike moment i've recently had:

yesterday i went with lindsey to the world of dance tour in pomona in hopes of seeing Quest dance crew. i wanted to get my issue of the scroll signed, and this was the perfect opportunity. we saw ryan feng first and i went up to him, explaining about how i interviewed him and his crew a few weeks prior. i was quite surprised to see that he made a serious and successful effort in remembering me. (: the most amazing thing was his response to the page, though. i believe it went something like "cool! that is so dope! do you have an extra copy?" (oh, and of course i had copies. seven, in fact.) seeing him admiring what we had done was probably the most rewarding thing. he looked so appreciative. 

when we went back for the meet and greet with the whole crew, feng told the others about the paper. all of their reactions were absolutely priceless. i could tell that they thought we did something pretty freaking awesome with the page. they were such nice guys and showed that they were extremely grateful for the support they've had. they closed the show with a spectacular performance consisting of their best moves from the abdc routines. (including the britney spears one!) i think i fell in love with them yesterday. like even more than before. (: Quest is so inspiring. they follow their passions and encourage others to follow theirs. i think everyone can learn a thing or two from them.